Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Steph's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, March 25th, 2006
1:42 pm	i'm sorry well... i hate saying goodbye to people that i thought had a lot to do with my life... telling your best friend that you don't want a boyfriend you want a friend... is already hard enough... i had to say goodbye to yall today because of the fact that you don't realzie how unhappy you really are... which makes everyone around you unhappy. i have been apart your life for almost a year and a half now and im still fighting a battle that i can't win... no matter what happens someone gets hurt or upset that i'm around... or when the skank comes into the picture im the only who gets hurt... you guys were my family for so long you all played your parts and roles... like eric was the dad.... and shaun you were the big brother... grover was the annoying cousin who never went away... and then there was matt... he was the hard one to pin point so im going to say he was the family shrink... he meant more to me than any of yall will ever know... and that's one of the reasons why i have to get away from you... it's hard enough seeing him every once and a while... but hearing about his every move 24/7 breaks my heart... i've alwasy said that i've worked so hard to get to a point where i was ok... with just being by myself... and that's always when he came back around... his eyes say everything... he doesn't ever want me around... so i guess im letting him win... he can my old best friend... and my present best friend... if that's what he wants then fine... i'm tired of being stubborn... i cna't do it anymore... im not happy... i'm not who i used to be... and shaun you said it yourself you hate the person i'm becoming... well so am i... you are the person i'm becoming... we need to fix ourselves without eachother... Current Mood: depressed Current Music: there for you flyleaf (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
11:49 pm	Dear Santa, wow.... i'm awesome!!!! haha Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Saturday I gave tchstopcat2004 a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points). In January I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points). Last month I gave big_daddy_shaun a kidney (1000 points). In February I bought porn for sparklez (-10 points). Last Sunday I pulled topcatdiva's hair (-5 points). Overall, I've been nice (1054 points). For Christmas I deserve a pony! Sincerely, sexyjo18 Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username: (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005
10:06 am	i just wanted to tell everyone happy turkey day!!!! i love yall and i will call you when iget back in town !!!! much love and be safe!!!!! muah!!!!!! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005
1:31 pm	well... the past couple of days have been pretty frustrating.... but i'll be ok i know i will be... thanks for being there for me shaun i really appreciate it everytime you answer my phone call... haha that's why i love you this much ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- teehee!!! but anyways... me and mike went back to his house and he picked me up some cigarrettes and made me some mac and cheese.... and that kinda made me feel better haha.... food always makes me feel better lol im such a fattie!!! but anyway... im a little sad bc he's leaving for OK tonight... and i won't get to see him until saturday... that's a longass time!!!! i am gonna miss that kid!!! haha but anyways.... i better go... hmmmmmmm.... Current Mood: sad Current Music: dance dance... fall out boy (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 20th, 2005
3:07 pm	well... alright... well i finally got a ride back from the airport on friday.... it's sweet that you were going to get zach to pick up your shift but face it shaun.... we all know that you need the money... so you will stay at work ok??? maybe me and eric can go into olive garden and eat and we will see you there ok???? but much love though!!! amy im glad that we finally emailed each other about the whole thing.... i just knew that i couldn't take the first step... you know? but there are a few things in that email you sent me that weren't true... and i think that grover needs to tell you better information... rather than his own assumptions.... but yeah... i didn't know how to say that in an email where i was apologizing the whole time... hahaha there just wasn't any room for it... but it was good talking to you... and you know that me and shaunicakes miss the hell outta you.... bye yall!!! Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: kelly c.... because of you (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 13th, 2005
7:00 pm	hmmm i thought it would be higher! You Are 20% Weird Not enough to scare other people... But sometimes you scare yourself. How Weird Are You? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 12th, 2005
2:02 pm	yep... You're an Passionate Kisser For you, kissing is about all about following your urges If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble What Kind of Kisser Are You? (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 6th, 2005
2:47 am	thanks by the way... hey shaun... tell matt thanks for the non invite to yoru birthday party... im sure tha'ts why you didn't call to let me know i shoud come... Current Mood: upset Current Music: i'm so sick... (Comment on this)
1:19 am	happy birthday to shaun!!! well sweetie i hope that your 26th b-day was one to put in the record books!!! mike told me that he closed for graham so that he could go out with you on your birthday!!! those guys are the shit right??? im glad that you are finally going out with the guys from work!!! now you see why i hang out with them so much!!! i love ya kiddo and i hope that everything was good today!!! only bc you deserve something good in your life!!! and im glad that you are finally getting happy!!! i need my happy shaun!!! but i will definetly see you tomorrow... just don't forget to text me so i know when the coast is clear!!! <3 steph!!! Current Mood: tired Current Music: bofriend by ashlee simpson (Comment on this)
Monday, October 31st, 2005
9:06 pm	just a theory.... do ppl stay in relationships simply bc they are too afraid to have to start over? i mean honestly... why would you bother being with someone who couldn't possibly love you the way that you love them... but yet you still try to convince them that you are perfect for each other? i know i have done this once in my life... but after a while it just didn't seem worth to me... andy thought of sex like a hand shake... and he was with a lot of ppl but i was still waiting for him for so long.... why are humans stupid? i really believe in that whole your heart feels what it wants to feel crap... but what if all it feels is pain?? do we still believe that it's good for us? that it's supposed to hurt this bad bc this person is worth it? yeah i don't think so... why do we always think that our first real relationship will last until the end of time? the odds of that happening are getting smaller by the minute... and ending in even more pain then we are in right now... being our age sucks... but we have our entire life ahead of us... so why sell ourselves short??? THINK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: flyleaf... i'm so sick!!! (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 29th, 2005
10:41 pm	yeah This Is My Life, Rated Life: 5.4 Mind: 4.3 Body: 4.3 Spirit: 4.2 Friends/Family: 5.9 Love: 7.7 Finance: 3.1 Take the Rate My Life Quiz (Comment on this)
Friday, October 28th, 2005
5:26 pm	well... today was a very not so great day haha.... woke up late for work... so i couldn't take a shower... ew... and then to make matters worse... my only pair of work pants had a huge.... and by huge... i mean like a 2 inch hole in the ass... nice... ugh... i didn't know about it... until uhhhh korry said something like "ummm steph why do you have a hole in your pants..." haha thanks guys for telling me when you noticed it... i asked one of the hosts kristin if the hole was noticable... and she was like "uh yeah i noticed it like an hour ago..." HELLO!!!!! if i had something in my teeth would you let me walk around the restaurant smiling at everyone and not tell me too???? ugh... so yeah i was just a little embarrassed... hahaha and then i went by olive garden because i needed a "shaun hug" and he started laughing at me... because he didn't want to know what was going on with my ass... what a jerk face!!! grrr... lol but mike laughed at me a bit too... so yeah it was ok though... becasue he bought me those pants... ugh... so now i have NO work pants at all... maybe i can fix them... and maybe they will last me until pay day.. god damn i way to poor for this shit!!! hahaha but yeah that's my drama filled journal... now lets move onto something else... ummm well me and shaun are friends again... and no im not going to tell you why we weren't for a while... but just note that we are ok now... so the small few who know why just go "awww great... im glad that yall patched things up" haha but yeah... i am going now... thanks for reading this... haha Current Mood: embarrassed Current Music: yet again... flyleaf!!! great band!!! (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 27th, 2005
6:32 pm	ok well since im downloading well shaunicakes!!! im glad to see you in your ol happy go lucky self again... i missed it a lot!!!! i love you kiddo and im glad that you are smiling again!!!! i hope you didn't do anything stupid on your break.... you do know that i don't appreciate you getting fucked up and then going to work... only bc im jealous and i wish that i could do the same... but i know that i would get caught or something... just bc i wanted to relax and have fun!!! hahahabut anyway... like jimguy said today... it's just his luck... hahaha that would be my luck!!! and thanks for telling me i looked pretty all the time... i can't help it... it's a curse!!! haha jk... i havne't turned like self centered or anything... but yeah i do like the whole happy, laughing part of me again... i lost that for a while... and im just happy i got it back... that's all hahaha \but i miss you more than words can say!!! love you honey buns!!!! Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: flyleaf... i'm so sick!!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
3:31 pm	wow... it's been a while... well amy i left you a blog on your b-day i hope you read it... and i hope you did have a good day... and shaun sorry i missed yoru call last night... i was at work and then my phone died... i have today off if you need anything give me a call... but yeah ttyl bye... (Comment on this)
Monday, October 10th, 2005
2:11 am	well i went to alex's party tonight... it was fun towards the end... haha everyone kept telling me that they saw tori come in today... and all me and laurie did was "i don't give a shit" which is probably what you think about me ame... but i don't really blame you... but the way that i see it... is that if she wants to be apart of that group... and if she wants to be with someone who's gonna dump her soon anyway bc she's not the girl he wants... then so be it!! i mean if only she knew some of the shit that i had to put up with when it come to the whole tina thing... im pretty sure she would run for the hills... so i donno and also she would have to put up with a couple of guys who didnt like her to begin with like uturn and jeremy... so i guess it's all good in my book... i would just hate to see them together... so anyways.. im done talking... (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 9th, 2005
3:43 pm	i have been trying to find song lyrics for the past week that can explain everything between us... but i havne't found one for you ame... but it has the be the perfect one... it's out there i just have to find it... but for shaun however.... TO THOSE WHO HAVE BETRAYED ME... I can't believe what you did to me Down on my knees and I need to break free All these years, you violated me I don't know why I can't feel inside Trying to hide, can't make it all right It's overkill, now I'm ready to fight (ready to fight) I don't need nobody trying to make me over (make me over) I just wanna live simple and free I just wanna get away Save it, all your bullshit, for another day Feeling confined, like I'm being forced in My vision's blurry and I'm lost in regrets It's overload, and I'm out of control (out of control) So sick and tired of feeling so misused (feeling so misused) Taking me down with all your mental abuse I must say, gotta get you out of my head Everybody's always trying to look me over (look me over) I just wanna live simple and free I just wanna get away Save it, all your bullshit, for another day I'm the only one who can rescue me from me Leaving the house another quarter to five Slipped on my boots and I'm ready to ride And I feel so high, I feel so alive Let down my hair, feel the wind on my skin (wind on my skin) Crossing the water where my new life begins And I close my eyes and take it all in I don't need nobody trying to make me over (make me over) I just wanna live simple and free I just wanna get away Save it, all your bullshit, for another day I'm the only one who can rescue me from me I just wanna get away Save it, all your bullshit, for another day I'm the only one who can rescue me from me You wanna bring me down You wanna bring me down You wanna bring me down You wanna bring me down Current Mood: crushed Current Music: the OU vs. UT game playing over and over again (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 27th, 2005
9:40 am	my faith... well... yesterday was the first day in 4 months that i stepped into that church... i had forgotten everything that i loved about it... for some reason it's like a home away from home for me... bc for a while it was my only escape from home... when my dad was being really hard on me about my brother... when louie died... when i felt that all my friends were against me... God and sherm were always there... i just didn't knwo what to do anymore... when i talked to sherman yesterday i felt like such crap... bc he told me i need to stop being so selfish and start doing things for other ppl... and then i will be happy... maybe he's right... maybe that's all i need to get my life back on track... ill first start with laurie.. and helping her move all her stuff back to her mom's house... and then i can move onto shani and her family... and see what i can do there... i might cook dinner for them or something... what do yall think? let me know if that's a good idea guys k? love you both so friggin much!!! Current Mood: mellow Current Music: silence.... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 24th, 2005
11:38 am	well...yeah... alright party ppl!!! well thanks for bringing me dinner last night!!! it made me feel hella bettr!!! and im glad that i got to hang out with yall for a bit!!! and my mashed potatoes were magnificent!!!! thanks again!!! i hope that work goes a little better today!!!! maybe i just shouldn't work everyday!!!! maybe like i can have every other day off... do you think they would do that for me???????? i mean bc that would be so kick ass!!! but anyway!! shani i am tired of you forgetting to put up your away message!!!! there are days that i wanna talk and you ain't there!!!! GRRRRR!!!! mean stephanie face!!! hahaha well im gonna go now!!! ttyl!!! Current Mood: cramping like a motha Current Music: gotta have the avril (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 20th, 2005
11:17 pm	work = crap!!! well today was definetly one of those days that you don't really want to repeat haha i mean not only was work absolutely retarded but i also was PMSing so bad i wanted to pull michaels hair out... ugh... but i mean... ill get to go to sleep and then ill be fine in the morning... so that i can get outta bed and do it all... over.... again.... blah!! i mean... everyone was making me mad... and there was no reason for me to be stressed you know? but i still was bitching about every little thing... and i was about to lose my mind by the time i got outta there!!! i was always taught not to use the whole "im about to start" excuse... but today i had to and it kinda made michael mad... i get just bc he's a guy and he doesn't get it... grrrr!!! boys... i hope you know how good you have it!!! and just when you think work can't get any worse... you find out that your district manager who is a stickler for perfection... is going to be at the restaurant all week... maybe more... WHY???? why i ask!!!! do they like to make our jobs harder by having to always look good??? ok... yes... that was a very stupid question... i mean why can't it be like it is at olive garden??? the only time eddie ever came in... was when there was something going wrong at the restaurant... but oh no... not this guy.... i think he just does it for fun!!!! he just likes to watch us sqirm!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i damn the man for that!!! DAMN YOU.... YOU UGLY MAN!!! ok... there i goes agian... i need to get in touch with my inner peace or something... geez..... i might have an aneurysm or something... i just get so stressed out... but the only thing that calms me down is thinking about the ppl that love me so!!! haha i don't know... i better hit the sack... have to be at work on time in the morning... unlike this morning... "stephanie you need to leave your house 10 minutes earlier than you did today... bc you can't keep coming in a couple of minutes late" -billy o. wow thanks B.o. i hope you sit on a nail.... and i hope you like it!!! well good night everybody! Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: that faint mumbo jumbo! (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 17th, 2005
2:31 pm	have you ever... have you ever been in a room full of ppl you know with no one to talk to? have you ever been so scared of the dark one night you turn on a lamp before you go to sleep? have you ever cared about someone so much but they make you hate them bc they can't keep their mouth shut? have you ever had a broken heart and the person who gave it to you has already moved on but you are still dealing with the pain? have you ever had a secret you wanted to tell everyone and you knew you couldn't bc it would destroy someone's world? have you ever had someone call you beautiful but you didn't care bc you didn't think they were all that nice to look at? have you ever thought so many countless hours of why some things go wrong in your life and you still can't think of one reason? have you ever been depressed on the sunniest day of the year? have you ever woken up reaching to find someone next to you? if you said yes to any of these things... you are not alone... i promise!!! love to all!!! Current Mood: indifferent Current Music: missy elliot (1 Comment |Comment on this)